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Life Happens: A goddess by any other name

HAMBURG — We are a people that likes to label things. It makes for quick and easy communication. Instead of saying a long phrase like “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie,” we say “Brangelina” and most people know what that means.

We like large labels that describe millions of people. “Hippies,” “Generation X” and “Generation Next” are quick sound bytes that capture entire age groups.

“Baby Boomers.” We all know who we are. Actually, today’s Baby Boomers have been known in previous decades as hippies, yuppies and dinks, depending on our lifestyles. For the young people who may not be familiar with these terms, “yuppie” is a label to describe young, upwardly-mobile professionals and “dinks” describes married couples who have dual incomes but no kids.

The other day, as some Baby Boomers do, I was reading my AARP newsletter and Prevention Magazine and I came across a new label that was pretty intriguing: “Alpha Goddess.” What is that all about?

Apparently, the Alpha Goddess is a new subcategory within the Baby Boomers that has been recognized by Madison Avenue as a group worth aiming considerable marketing dollars at. The Alpha Goddess consists of women aged 50 and up.

Why, that’s me! I’m a woman aged 50 and up. I’m more up than 50, but who’s counting? Alpha Goddesses are described as successful, independent, adventurous and assertive women who like to buy the best and don’t care what anyone thinks. An Alpha Goddess is comfortable with herself and her lifestyle.

Well, that’s me again ... maybe. If by successful, they mean she pays all of her bills in a timely manner, then yes, I am a goddess. I am a hard-working, bill-paying goddess. I buy what’s on sale, but only the best sale items and, OK, some things with coupons. So, with a little stretch of the definition, I think I still qualify.

Independent? Of course I am. I plunge my own toilet, instead of calling a plumber. Adventurous? If being bit by a wolf spider twice, while putting on my gardening gloves, counts.

I’ll put it this way. I will assertively assert that I deserve to be in the Alpha Goddess group, because I am comfortable with my lifestyle and I don’t care what Madison Avenue thinks.

Besides, it’s a much better title than “Baby Boomer.” I’m taking it.

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